unspoken words

why do people need to experience so many feelings in life
don't you feel it hard sometimes?
human are easily get control by its feeling
this is the weakest point for most of the human
and i know there is someone who is strong enough to control their emotion

it was a long hours flight from UK to Malaysia
and it was my first time to go back since a year
before boarding, i keep thinking would there be any changes
no matter the place, people or things...

unfortunately, some changes and some did not.
and of course, i have changed as well!

i realized it happen few times
and im sure that there is conflict between us
and i really dislike it

i really really hate it!
things were happen like this...
we were on the way to grandma house for buffet dinner
due to the traffic on that day,
D suggest use another route
thus M just follow what he said
but M not sure which route D really want
at last, D shouted go that shortcut way!
"how come you don't know the route?"

when i heard that, i was like What the Fuck!
Why you need to shouted like you are the king!
Cant you just said it softly?
Cant you just volume down your voice?

I cant really tahan so i shouted back at him
this was my very first time talk louder at him in my life
cuz i REALLY ANGRY!
i rmb my heartbeat very fast and my tears wanna drop
but i hold back cuz i know later i hv to face all my relatives
ended up "ok, enough." by M.

after that, i dont feel like talking to anyone...
im sad... helpless sad...
seriously i dont really like my life here
i would rather go to a place which i can make my own decision
no one can affect me and do what i wanna do
but in reality, I CAN'T!
this makes me sad....
cuz i cant change...
this is fact...